Online Dating vs Real Life

When it comes to online dating, anyone can do it. Sites have popped up for anyone - from teenagers to senior citizens. If you want it, you can find it online. The real question is whether online dating is for you or not.

Do You Want to Meet Someone?

If you want to meet someone new and haven’t had any luck with your other methods, what do you have to lose? If you do it correctly and take the right safety precautions, online dating isn’t any more dangerous than any other type of dating.

Are You Flexible?

While you do want to be clear about your deal breakers, you do want to be open and flexible about some of your preferences that aren’t deal breakers. For example, if you could live with dating someone shorter than you if they met all your other requirements, why not give it a try?

Do You Like Meeting People Outside Your Circle?

Do you have the type of job where you can travel to meet new people, and it’s okay with you if they travel to meet you? If you click, can one or both of you move to a new city to establish the relationship? If not, you might want to stick to local dating, but otherwise, the whole world is open to you for finding a potential mate.

Can You Be Open and Truthful?

Some people get online and think they’re anonymous. They don’t have good self-esteem - or worse, they are scammers, and they lie about who they are, what they want, and any number of things. Don’t be one of these people. Be honest, open, and truthful to others and yourself about who you are, and only associate with other people who are doing the same. If you’re a female and a guy isn’t willing to give you the information you need to ensure that they’re safe, skip them.

Can You Tame Your Expectations?

Today, with filters and the knowledge the average person has about marketing, it’s easy to create an amazing online dating profile and resume that makes them look like a dream come true. Also, some people find it easier to text and chat online and not as easy in person.

You’ll need to lower your expectations for each first date so that you can get to know the person as they really are and not just how they want to be perceived. It doesn’t really always mean they lied either. It just may mean that they’re awkward in public, have social anxiety, or used a picture that represented how they felt inside.

Do You Think It’s Fun?

This is probably one of the most important questions you can ask. If you think it’s fun, then it’s for you. There are sites for all age groups, preferences, and even specialty sites for those with illnesses or unique likes and desires. If you want it, you can find it online - as long as you know where to look.

Online dating can be for anyone who wants to try it. If you try it and don’t like it, then you don’t have to keep doing it. There isn’t any one group of people that online dating is not for. It would be nice if scammers and those who wish to do harm would not enter online dating but they do, just like they go to bars, book groups, and find other ways to scam people.

source http://www.professionalslifestyle.com/online-dating-vs-real-life/

Online Dating Conversation Starters

There are some basic rules of dating that apply whether you’re dating online or not, but there are some that are unique to online dating. Let’s go over a few of them. Hint: they all start with being honest.

Use Recent Photos

It’s not fair to use a picture from your senior year of high school if you’re ten years past high school. Get a recent picture just for your profile. Have a friend take it, use your smartphone, or use the webcam on your laptop.

You don’t need a professional headshot - and to be honest a professional headshot doesn’t really say who you really are. Whether we like it or not, people are visual creatures and if you lie about something as basic as your appearance, you aren’t going to be successful. It’s okay to show your best features, but don’t look so different in your profile that they won’t know who you are if they see you in person.

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

Before you even go on a date, if you know that you have certain issues, fetishes or social differences, say so in your profile - or at least when you talk to the person before you go on a date. It can be a deal breaker for some people who otherwise like you to know that you like to be diapered like a baby. For others, it might be their thing.

It’s hard to talk about these things when you haven’t even met someone, but with online dating, it’s expected that there will be fewer surprises on the "getting to know you phase" of the date. Plus, if something is important to you, enough that you’re going to eventually bring it up with someone you like, you best bring it up before so that you don’t get hurt or waste your time.

Be Truthful

Don’t lie and say you run a big corporation when you don’t. You don’t have to brag about living in your mom’s basement, but you shouldn’t lie about it either. Dating is about being yourself, and the only way to do that is to be truthful on the dating profile and in conversations with others about your situation in life.

You may be surprised to find out that other people are in the same boat and don’t care as much as you may have thought. Dating isn’t acting. Dating is real. Dating is most often about potentially finding a life partner and if you’re not interested in that, say so from the beginning on your profile - not after the fifth date.

Respond Only If Interested

It may seem cruel, but you really shouldn’t talk to people you know that you’re not going to be interested in and will never meet no matter what. If they’re not right for you, don’t respond to them. If they keep contacting you just say, "Thank you very much for your interest but I don’t believe we are compatible." If they continue, or are jerks due to it, block them and move on.

Also, some people seem to like to go on dates out of boredom, even when they know that they will never go on another date with that person. Please don’t do this. Only meet up with a person if you think there is a potential based on your mutual reasons for being on the online dating app.

This is especially a problem when someone wants others to pay for the dinners but have no intentions of even considering another date. Same with those who are only after sex but don’t admit it in their profiles. Don’t date someone looking for love and marriage if you only want sex.

Listen

When you do finally connect with someone, it’s imperative that you stop talking and listen to them. Many people report that dates tend to do all the talking and they never ask questions about the other person. So, if the person isn’t talking, ask them questions about themselves that you don’t know from their profile.

The more you ask them questions about themselves, the more favorable the date will seem to them. However, on the other side, if the date isn’t also doing the same for you, you might want to question if they’re really interested in you or just the experience.

Be You Even If You Risk Rejection

Don’t try to put on a fake personality. If you’re not outgoing, don’t be outgoing. If you’re not talkative, don’t try to be. If you don’t like going to certain types of movies, don’t go to that movie. If you don’t like hiking, don’t hike. You should be who you are even if you risk rejection. The reason is that no one can maintain a false persona forever.

Someday the real you will come out and if you’ve attached yourself to someone who wants to do things all the time you don’t want to do, it will not work out in the long run. Ideally, you want to meet someone who likes doing the same things you like doing. It’s not really true that opposites attract and work out. They might attract at first, but for a good long-term situation, you both must be willing and happy to engage in the things the other person likes to do.

Offer to Pay

This is always a tricky one and it does depend on what you want out of life. The way it should work in an equal society is the person who planned the date should pay. When you get to know each other more, perhaps the person with the best job should pay.

Men do not always have to pay, but men should consider that women usually make less than they do. However, on the occasion that they find a woman who earns more than them and is willing to pay, they should not take it as an insult. So again, this will depend on what you’re looking for, your age group, and what’s important to you. It’s also okay to pay your own bill and get separate tickets for first dates, and no one should feel put off by this.

source http://www.professionalslifestyle.com/online-dating-conversation-starters/

Risk of Online Dating

There are some tried-and-true methods for avoiding scammers when engaging in online dating that you should consider. Even when you know yourself and what your goals are for online dating, there are people out there who will want to do you harm. But, this is true no matter how you get a date. There are ways to mitigate the risk of online dating.

Avoid Long-Distance Relationships 

While it’s good to be open to possibilities, if you don’t have the means to travel easily to the place in question, you may want to avoid long-distance relationships - especially from other countries. Most scammers go after long-distance relationships because it’s harder to meet in person and that way they can take advantage in some way, usually by asking for money.

Don’t Give Out Personal Information

While they’re going to get some personal information from you easily just by having your picture and name, be careful about giving out your address, phone number, and other personal information directly on your profile. If they insist on having your personal info right off the bat, you can skip them as they may not have good intentions.

Listen to What People Say

Liars can never keep their lies straight. Therefore, listen carefully to what people say and match them their words to what they said in the past. You don’t want to engage them and fight with them about it; you just need to show it to yourself so that you know to move on. Don’t waste your time if you even think someone is a liar.

Watch Their Actions

As the old saying goes, "Actions speak louder than words." If someone’s actions seem fishy, they probably are. If you have a weird feeling about someone, it’s probably accurate. If they make excuses, don’t want to meet, want to meet at strange times, or in strange places, it’s probably best to not talk to them at all.

Talk to Them First

Before meeting someone, talk to them on Skype or Facebook video. This is a good way to find out if they match their picture and to hear their voice. Sadly, if their English isn’t very good and they don’t look like their picture, they may be scammers. If they seem the same talking to them that they seemed in chat, then you’re probably good to go.

Check Out Their Photo

You can use a reverse image search by uploading their photo into TinEye to find out how many times the image has been used and by whom. This can stop scammers cold because scammers hardly ever use their own photos. If you find out that someone is using a false photo on your dating app, you can usually report them.

Meet in Person

Don’t put off meeting in person if you feel a connection with someone online that you’ve checked out and talked to. If they make excuses about meeting in person, then there may be a serious problem and they might not be who they say they are. Make sure your first meeting is in a well-lit public place. If they are afraid to meet in a place like that they could be scammers, married, or have other issues that you want no part of.

If you follow these tips, you’re going to be more likely to meet quality people and avoid being scammed. It’s very important to realize that both men and women get scammed, but women are more vulnerable to certain situations than others such as date rape.

source http://www.professionalslifestyle.com/risk-of-online-dating/

Online Dating Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes

If you’re already in the online dating scene, check out these common mistakes and make a change if necessary. If you’re not doing it yet but want to, use this advice to get started on the right foot.

Not Being Honest

You might think if you’re honest about your situation that you will turn off prospects. But they’ll find out anyway, so you may as well weed out potential failures right off the bat by always being honest.

Not Knowing What You Want

It’s hard to date if you’re not sure what you want. But try to learn about what you want as you experience dating. If you date someone and they behave in a way that turns you off, note that and add it to your profile so that you don’t do it again.

Remember that what you want is a big question

It might be to meet friends. It might be to hook up. It might be to find a life partner. It’s up to you, and there is no right or wrong answer.

Not Asking the Right Questions

When you date people, you need to ask them questions about themselves. You know your own deal breakers, so you want to design questions for the person that bring to light any of the deal breakers you have identified in yourself. For example, if you’re a young woman who doesn’t want to date someone who has a kid, ask them if they’ve been married and have kids before you go on another date or before you even go on the first date.

Not Listening to Your Inner Voice

Everyone has a little inner voice that tells them things and gives them feedback about other people. Most of us ignore it. But when you go on a date, look for red flags and listen to your inner voice. Even if it seems illogical, that voice knows more than you think. If you have social anxiety, you may need to double date with some friends to offer help and support.

Posting Your Best Photo

We've mentioned this already. You might think you should post your very best photo to put yourself in the best light. But the truth is, that’s not how you really look and you know it. Post pictures that show how you really look on a normal day. If someone doesn’t like you how you really look, then they’re not worth wasting your time on.

Not Reading Profiles

It’s shocking how many people only look at photos to choose a date. Don’t be that person. Read the profiles to find out if you will like them. If they have deal breakers in their profile, say no and move on. Don’t allow hair color or height to be a deal breaker, though. It’s okay to have preferences, but you’re missing out if you let superficial items be deal breakers.

Not Joining Paid Dating Sites

Paid dating sites are a lot better than free ones. You might not want to pay, but the paying part weeds out a lot of people. It doesn’t weed out all scammers, but if something does go wrong it’s often easier to track down the person who has joined a membership than someone you found on Tinder or Grinder.

Not Meeting in Person Sooner

Don’t waste time talking to someone for months on end via chat, text, and Skype. Instead, chat a while and if they seem like a connection, move it to voice, then ask for a date. The sooner you meet in person, the better, because that is what’s going to determine the long-term chances of the relationship.

The main thing is to be careful, just like you would if you were meeting any stranger for any reason. Take it slowly and get to know the person. But don’t take it so slowly that you don’t meet in person for months. You really want to move from online to offline within a week or two to ensure that they are real people who really want what they say they want in their profiles.

source http://www.professionalslifestyle.com/online-dating-mistakes/